* Self-ish Too Triggering

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SELF-ISH TOO -TRIGGERING-</a>6</p>

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<li>When we came home from the hospital we could have gone for a kayak paddle. We did not as we could not know if that was best. There are many more out now and they have changed and are changing. They have been out over the last years we have always been so beat up that they could not be really. They are the ones that we had to fight them going away from the other and that is kinda still true. Difference is we can get back to the others at will. Meaning if we work really hard to create a situation where they can be than they can be. Disruptive in the now does not cover it.</li>

<li>One thing that does not work for me is the I am special because I am multiple or traumatized. I see that all the time and it sometimes get put on me.</li>

<li>So we messed up three weeks ago and went to Maine. Pretty much we overrode the reptilian brains with our cognitive brains. In part this happened as we went to maine with some people. We kinda went with society’s understanding that going to the ocean for a paddle must be wonderful for everyone at all times or something is wrong with them.</li>

<li>he end result was learning how not to sleep. For us this manifested itself in one of us was always awake. Think a water bird whose brain sleeps on side at a time. There are many reasons for this and one of them is the time in the sensory deprivation tanks. We learned to stay awake in the tank so that we did not have to be touched when they let us out.</li>

<li>We really started to figure out that we were on a different level than the rest of our family and they knew it. It did upset us and our solution was to push physically very hard. We just did our chores all day and went very very fast.</li>

<li>t is not really that one of us is always tired it is more when we are tired we are them. That is kinda the way it is with multiplicity. As there is no connection with time between us then they never rest. It is on some level shutting different parts of us down. There is no protection from horrors in our life. That would be nice it is just not reality.</li>

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* Self-ish Too Triggering

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