Horrible * Triggerwarning*
<p>Feb 25, 2015 12:10 PM</p>
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<a href="http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic157235.html">http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic157235.html</a></p>
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horrible * triggerwarning*
Postby MultipleMinds » Sat Feb 21, 2015 3:06 pm</p>
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I feel horrible, im not sure how much influence it is but suspect im an functional someone in this system.
I feel traumatized, retraumatized :( I can barely get something out of our fingers. Since last session were a mess, its like therapists claim to have experience with DID, ptsd but they seem to be hollow and empty promises. It hurts, I feel betrayed right now. Our trust is harmed. it makes us feel like an difficult patient. Also because it triggers us were scared we will be sectioned, could be anxiety and paranoia, but it feels like theyre after us, to harm us, to claim they have experience, are there to help, but only harm us. Now i hear laughter inside. :(</p>
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The idea of being hospitalized because of our boundary settings confuses us, scares us, to be locked up. We need to defend yeah? Therapy was ment to be an safe place in which we could participate, and it feels like backstabbing, last session feels like gaslighting. To make us more confused and eventually agree on stuff, causing an possible switch/trigger. Only on her terms.</p>
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"your welcome in session, but im going to call you [bodyname]" focussing solely on what is called host, whatever and whoever that is. as if her needs are to be met. Im afraid that when others will lash out and give her an reality check, that bad stuff is going to happen, as if being stuck, trapped in it, to be kept there and having no choice. That is fills it in for them as being an "risk-patient"</p>
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I dont know, i feel confused, anxious, as if we cant trust ever again and therapists will always have an second agenda :(
We told her we dont need meds, that we need system co-operation, communication and exploring, that we are there for our DID, but she seems to focus on other things, and when we go against her, that she goes all defensive and guilt-tripping. this triggers rage in some of us, an feeling of invalidation and wrong-doing.</p>
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I feel hurt :cry: I dont wanna :cry: I dont know anymore and it triggers us badly.</p>