1. Final - Week 1
FINAL - Week 1
Saturday, July 24, 2021
1:25 PM
Good morning
Dr. Marvin's appointment is soon. Dr. Marvin is our long-term psychiatrist.
Our other time is quiet time and is well-established.
Sr. and V. (Vince) are already on our mind. The computer clock is 4AM, and we think V. should be getting up. He is my PC buddy. Vince is also a psychologist - counseling multiple end-stage renal patient.
Those thoughts usually run silent. Mostly, V spends a lot of time online as we do. We run in the same social circles for easy-going journalists and bloggers.
We like penning morning messages to the group. This morning we received a bounty of messages including a couple of snowflakes from Bon and Mal. We find the gift delightful!
Otherwise, we are on our own and getting things done to prepare for the week.
Weekend chapter reviews seem to have recorded themselves. As to reading, we calculate each 30 pages in our psych textbook will take about 45-minutes to read. We are working on our masters for Educational Psychology.
Today’s schoolwork will be finished by 9AM so we can get to work-work. Focus and recall are being hoped for in the process of completing schoolwork. The other is more predictable.
Broadly, we scan about 150 pages per week along with writing numerous papers. Housework is extra energy. The last assignment followed a readjusted pace of 50 minutes for reading-time, and 10 minutes for housework-time. So, in total, five hours’ time is estimated to cover weekly reading and tidying.
I live on my/our own. I/we are a Multiple.
As a passing thought, one of us must also write a message to our boss revealing to her, we would be coming in late. When we get to work, we must remind Sr. to glance at our comments – asking her to acknowledge we cared enough to notify her.
This is our first cognitive distortion. "She probably will not read our note on her own." I do not know ... she might, she might not. I will collect an answer (no distortion) if I ask her directly. Cognitive distortions, or "errors in thinking," are going to be important to the whole.
A cognitive distortion is a "...thought pattern that causes people to view reality in inaccurate -- usually negative -- ways. Most people experience cognitive distortions from time to time. Reinforced enough, they can increase anxiety, deepen depression, cause relationship difficulties, and lead to a host of other complications." (Healthline, 2005-2021).
Our inner group is giggling, as we watch a pretty kitty cross our desktop double screens. She wagged her tail as she passed, and people oohed and awed. The virtual pussycat likes her space beautified as well, for her we let go of unnecessary Chrome tabs. The cat is a tool we are utilizing so that some of us can be having fun, while others see to housework and schoolwork.
Real-life football is another mental trick. The challenge balances our inside minds interacting with an outside set of brains within our TV. Football teams are compared, listened to, and cheered including us chuckling at the Bear-banter. This is what makes us smile! Just the silliness of life.
Age or skills regression in a Multiple happens frequently. The personal shift changes are sometimes noticeable as "distractions."
So that when things occur like a craving, our automatic response might be to respond in a younger voice eagerly reaching for the sugar-free hot chocolate. Who doesn't enjoy that? We declare hot chocolate is safe. Sugar-free, right?
By taking care of the little things, our attention most often stays on the screen. This allows us to center for longer periods of time on our pride and joy -- which is creative journalism. Sometimes though, the distractions in general, can become weeks and months.
Time is the hardest thing to steady with Multiplicity. Hot chocolate-time is not schoolwork-time, and the changeover of attention (this time) is an easy peaceful transfer of the body. Just move into the kitchen and back. No one wants to fall out of balance for long. If you do not need to caress terrible feelings, then that is the correct path.
Our weight this week is 286.8 pounds (ca. 130 kg). This is 3.8 pounds (1.72 kg) less than the last time. Someone in the system is hastily fretting over our dysfunctional self-beliefs.
We challenge her distortional thinking. A weight loss score might have begun halfway through the previous day, instead of two equal mornings, but the decrease of numbers is still a victory.
Hey you! Both the weights AND the math are counting-in as real! I understand the confusion. We are seeing as you do, that consistent weigh-in time is of value too.
Thanks still for the loss of weight! Great team effort! "First-class work!" I exclaim.
Meanwhile, the clean clothes find closet and drawer space, and the bed is addressed. Two more 8-minute rounds of effort and the place will be thoroughly picked-up. Movement is good for us. By cleaning and picking up, we may live contentedly in the grandness of our own apartment, while getting much needed exercise.
Friction finds herself among us in the belief, that floor-washing is impossible. Too much “up-time.” We could ask Richard to help.
We love our home. I cannot say enough how pleasant and friendly she normally is. By use of a timer, chores became game pieces of so-many "minute increments" and "time-outs."
A flight of fancy is a windward fantasy of closeness between us and others, such as recounting Richard and the Chicago Bears, or even Dr. Marvin.
The sounds of broadcasters in their booth are soothing in deep real-time male voices on a lonely Sunday afternoon, especially when externals are not literally here, and V is off listening to opera.
Our V-voice chimes in current weekend and early morning time. "It is OK," we hear. “V-strokes,” do not make out loud sounds. He appears on our screen in printed words. Everything is as it should be for the many of us, which makes life appear solid and trustworthy
We would soon be reporting to a pleased V. about time spent on the treadmill. Due to our back problems, we estimate walk time to be only minutes from start-to-finish. He enjoys pushing us forward, as do most of the others.
A fair amount of V. and me, is in and out time when one or the other of us are actively onscreen. His adaptation as a side-line coach – makes him especially keen on schoolwork, exercise, and caring for our actual kitties, Missy and Chief.
Excellent guessing might bring you to grant we live close to Chicago, and we are telling you straight-up, V. lives close to Philly. Richard and Dr. Marvin are cautiously accepting of our day-to-day closeness with V. "He is by all good intentions - safe." "YAY!" we agreed. Plus "V. the Wonderful," is a writer too. He writes poetry AND Vampire novels! Wow! I’ve got a GREAT life!
Gabreaelsaid...
Thanks for all the hard work on DA. I look forward to working with you on it into the new year.
Gabreael
Anonymous said...
have a fun day no frowny faces allowed :)
Deb
Bon & Mal Mottsaid...
We are pleased that you enjoyed the snowflakes, Ayn. You may randomly receive one every now and then, when we are too lazy to do anything but play with snowflakes. Hehe.
Love,
Bon & Mal
Ann Mariesaid...
LOLOL - you two are too funny! You have recalled old memories of how much I loved the snow growing up in Minnesota. When we were little, we had snow pants, boots, scarves, mittens, and hat. After school we had plenty of neighborhood kids, but my favorite memory was at dusk when all others had gone in. I would just lay out in the snow looking up at the sky or make snow pies that I would feast on. I thought for sure, I would never go hungry. Just love the snow! Thanks for this memory!!!
Our love,
Us
Ann Mariesaid...
Deb, ok, ok ... no frowny faces today ... that be less than a good "brownie!"
And, Gabreael, we are looking forward too, as well as watching how your new fitness place works out!
Our best love,
Us
TJsaid...
Oh, and A happy New Year to you...I am excited about this year. I am really going to make it one of my best.
I do not normally get so excited...I think it follows in steps with having new goals.
Love
TJ
Christina K Brownsaid...
howdy sweetie.... glad you had a good day yesterday and hope school is good today!!!
V said...
Workin` Out!!
WooHOO!
V
Tamarasaid...
Hey, hey...it is school time again! Woo-hoo!
Keep the smiley faces beaming!
Hugs and love,
T
TJsaid...
U R Missing?
I keep looking for U.
Bedazzzled1said...
Who is Harry, and why is he frowning? Slap that boy and make him smile! : grin:
Gabreaelsaid...
OK, Ayn. It is a New Year. Let us get "Jiggy" with it.
:P
Gabreael
Tamarasaid...
Ayn's missing! Help, help, we must go find her.
AYN, AYN, COME OUT COME OUT FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE!
Hey sweetie, where are you? I have read this same post for days now. It is time for a new one my dear.
Type, type, type...
Love and hugs,
T
Tammy Brierlysaid...
You go girl! No frowns today just happy snowflake dreams.
Tamarasaid...
Hummm, V has not posted, Ayn has not posted. Should I be worried?
T
Ann Mariesaid...
Oh no T. We've both posted maybe you need to refresh your screen! Hehehehe. We will write an email this morning!
xoxoxo
Us
PSY7450, u1d1 - Multi-cultural Introduce Self
Topic: u1d1 Introduce Self Date: January 2, 2006 6:38 PM
Subject: Re: Introduction of Ann Author: Garvey, Ann
Last edited on: January 2, 2006 6:39 PM
Hi! It’s nice to meet you all. My name is Ann, and I am a third-semester, first year master’s student specializing in Education. The cultural identity I most identify with is being disabled. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Recurrent Depression, OCD, and severe spinal arthritis, which prevents me from walking/standing for more than 7-8 minutes. I am also abled in that I work full-time as a professional, enjoy learning, and hold steady relationships, such as the roles of parent, grandparent, and friend.
My professional specialty is working for adults with developmental disabilities. I hope to develop programs for teaching self-systems. Most often I can hold steady the abled feeling/thoughts of the diagnoses because I am completing goals and am aware of putting forth good effort. During times when things become more difficult, I am encouraged, because I have good support and have the strong will to get back on track. Most often I feel very positive.
I look forward to this course!
Thursday, January 05, 2006 u01d02 Multicultural Insensitivity
Topic: u01d2 Multicultural Insensitivity Date: January 5, 2006 6:05 AM
Subject: u1d2 Ann's response Author: Garvey, Ann
Last edited on: January 5, 2006 6:16 AM
My first reaction to reading Sue and Sue was to feel angry and insulted. I thought I was being judged to be a racist and a supremist because I was white. I also took offense in their statements of psychology having raped individuals. I had become defensive over many years of having received good psychology treatment. Later, I realized the authors’ position on consciousness rising. They had used words that were intended to be emotionally charged. I then focused on thoughts and awareness I have had toward disability and the pain and anger I’ve felt by not being heard. Many people, doctors included, resist the thoughts our condition even exists. We have had to work through the feelings that yes, we do exist. As to the actual abuse issues there have been many negative projections made onto my therapist, as if it were him that had caused the trauma. I am also suspect of intellectualism to hide my emotions.
For someone with a disability, I have often been defensive and questioned what is normal. For example, I understand dissociation as having helped preserve my sanity during many long abusive years, so it was a normal reaction to the abuse. I was surviving. What is disabling is that I am still dissociating in the present, although there is little abuse to speak of. When I cannot do the things, I initially set out to do (the disabled side), I become frustrated. I must resist the thought that I am considered “abnormal” and unable to function because I think differently, so it is alright to live up to that expectation. It is also tempting to think people could easily become hostile and unworthy of my trust. People who first learn I am a multiple tend to regard me as unstable first before considering my relative stability. And, I have run into people who maintain a “sick patient” image of me, which is also frustrating.
What I do agree with is that the world view of mental disability has been around for a long time. Under medical models, at best, we are people who need to be cured of our illness. People are not always supportive in their thoughts and responses of mental illness, which means although unspoken; it is easy enough to consider us as “afflicted,” “crazy,” or “dangerous.” I agree with the authors’ point of view that people in the minorities may have feelings of paranoia. Considering their social experiences this is more responsive than pathological. We also agree that people of disability or other minority should be provided with education experience, develop skills and strategies for dealing with the “bad stuff,” and attend consciousness rising sessions with emotional and intellectual components (Sue, D. W. & Sue, D, 2003, p. 51). To be isolated or feel isolated is deconstructive.
I didn’t agree with the authors method of consciousness rising. It was like saying two negatives can make a positive. I don’t agree with oppression or blaming the victim, or that people “suffer” from insanity or are punished by treatment. I’ve been hospitalized many times due to depression and although it is never “fun” to relinquish one’s freedom, it is better to be safe than continue the gripping fear that you could hurt someone or oneself. It is having the occasional staff that still thinks of hospital treatment as punishment or feels that stripping a patient of power is in his or her best interest that makes locked wards ineffective and to be feared. I do find fault in many medical models of pathology in that it pushes the patient into believing him or herself to be sick. Without acceptance of responsibility the person feeds into helplessness and quits responsibility, which leaves him without hope, and from this point, if sickness is reinforced rather than assistance given, the “sickness” eventually leads to feelings of ostracism and alienation, and finally giving up.
In discussing strengths of working with culturally diverse individuals and groups based on my education and training, we have learned through the reading that people of color or other minority status are reaching a critical mass. This means that society is diversifying, which is good, but not easy. Monoculture has survived hundreds of years and it is hard to open people’s minds to the thought that change can be good. If one held the illusion of being better than someone else due to any particular “status” of classification, mono-cultured individuals might misinterpret the pretense of power. There are confusions also in the range of self-disclosure. Some, due to the paranoia previously discussed, might think the therapist is the only one who gains insight and since the client does not feel self-disclosure is a healthy choice; it would seem at odds with the therapist thinking, or therapeutic work. It is up to therapist to go above and beyond this line of self-presentation to the public in correcting false illusions by providing the client with true safety and security from oppression. This is especially important due to the concept many in the minority feel as being weak, stressed, inferior, underdeveloped, or deficient (Sue, D. W. & Sue, D., 2003, p. 47).
In discussing weaknesses of working with culturally diverse individuals and groups based on my education and training, we have learned there really isn’t enough knowledge and that we inherit the thoughts of our predecessors. People generally “buy into” the existing forces. People see what they want to see or are willing to comprehend with relatively low amounts of energy expended. The people that do not fit the general flow of everyday life become the irritants. If people vary from the norm, they are considered outcasts, or outliers. To maintain a society there are always those in control of its borders as seen from the parents, teachers, clergy, doctors, police, government perspectives that stress your acceptance to the conceived norms. These agents are seen as the authority figures and the authority figures are generally not to be questioned, which is sometimes damaging to the intruding thoughts of the individual, especially if the individual is “deviant.” Educational research also plays a part by not having a more realistic understanding of ethic group, doing harm by ignoring, distorting, or developing stereotypes (Sue, d. w. & Sue, D., 2003, p. 51), such as inferiority.
Through self-exploration, I know I feel better when I can relate to others, fit in. While I believe that in a locked ward the relationship to other patients is very gratifying, in that you find they are also searching for themselves, albeit socially inappropriate means, like us. I find much more gratification in having relationships with people who are at my best developmental states. I’d rather give-up the game of spades detainees often plays in favor of that special beauty of moving on. To be fair, I need to restate that this entire cycle is a process of self-discovery. If I maintained only the stereotype of being “damaged,” I am of little use to anyone, unless you were to study my correct and incorrect assumptions. The “sick” self-definition though would be no better than me locking myself into a very small box. I must be the sum of me, not just one part. People can be different without lacking in that which makes them human. The goal of all should be to find quality in oneself and in one’s community; to be a part of an evolving plan of life becoming. In this sense, I am learning better how to accept my biculturalism.
Malachi Case Analysis
I thought the therapist's statements of Malachi’s silver platter, avoidance of responsibility, taking the easy way out, to be judgmental of the therapist. It was clearly a preconceived assumption defending a shallow observation. If the client was standing over the therapist shouting in a menacing manner, I would think this person’s expression of anger to be demonstrative of a certain amount of self-control loss by both, which seemed provoked by the therapist’s inadequate multi-cultural views. I am not yet at a level I could consider any individual taking this angry stance as being entirely safe, no matter of the color, sex or other possible discriminating factor. Malachi could have a valid reason for being angry, but when you act out the anger behaviorally by aggressing on another, you have crossed a line. My issue with angry people effects my judgment in thinking the therapist’s office should be a safe zone for both. The therapist may have misjudged expression, he might not have. The instance of fear experienced by the therapist appeared justifiable but was not reasonable within the context of a good therapeutic relationship. We do not know if Malachi’s communication style was intended to just back the therapist down because he felt threatened by the therapist, or if he intended to force intimacy. The situation could trigger unrealistic racial fears and apprehension as it appears the therapist was inadequate.
I agree with the philosophy that therapy should work toward individualism, responsibility, and autonomy, but I believe the decision-making process can be done with trusted others. The decision itself should be the individual’s as much as he or she is capable of decision-making. If I were doing family therapy, I would consider the decision-making process to be more family-orientated, but as much as possible the final decision should rest with the individual the decision is to affect. If the individual forfeit or is unable to make a choice, then it is best the family step in to make the decision in the best interest of the individual family member. According to attribution theory an individual has more control over the events in his or her life if he or she accepts responsibility. No one can control fate. The individual should be responsible for his or her choices, but not necessarily the outcome, which could be affected by a host of variables. This is not a judgment situation where one should be assigned fault for making a decision that doesn’t work out, or for accepting responsibility for external happenstance. The other party’s’ need to also accept responsibilities for their actions as well. Victimization would occur only if the individual thought him or herself to have no control over self, or control over the poor choices of others.
I believe the therapist should not give advice. I believe the therapist should offer options. I think it would be dehumanizing for a therapist not to emote thoughts or feelings. He or she needs to claim responsibility though for his or her expressions. I believe all humans are guided by their emotions in making cognitive thoughts whether they are capable of objectivity or not. I think a blurring of the boundaries is stopped by the therapist and the client establishing rules of conduct and order and by the therapist staying faithfully focused on the client instead of him or herself. Personal disclosures should be kept to a minimum less the client feel second bested. I do not understand the concept of a moral relationship. We all are affected by morality, which would affect the sense of right and wrong, which obviously affects relations to others. I think it is fair to say that therapists and clients should connect and that it establishes intimacy. As a multiple, I would be the last one to claim the relationship did not involve multiple roles. And I would think that the therapist appears to the client as taking on different roles as he projects them onto the therapist, although the therapist ought to always remain well-grounded as the therapist.
I would be honest as to my experience in job skills. It would seem the therapist would be within his assistive role in suggesting where Malachi might look for help resolving his job needs. If the client might need more hands-on assistance from the therapist during the time allowed, it is the client’s choice in giving the time up for this or other matters. It is the client who designates the best usage of the time. I agree that the therapist failed to acknowledge a trust-producing event in not assisting the client due to his perceived role, and that he was off-base in judging the situation to be pathological. His training may have been poor or misinterpreted. I believe that therapy can be self-explorative and insightful, but this is not a requirement of the time.
I think both Malachi and the therapist have problems – Malachi shouldn’t be let off the hooks just because the therapist isn’t doing well. Two wrongs do not make one right. I agree that the therapist has to know motives, values, biases and assumptions about human behavior. It is his job and responsibility. I think the authors are shooting blind regarding their statement about what most training programs do or don’t do and that is a comprised position to take. I think it is too simple to take one statement like the authors did in judging the therapist's “worldview,” just like it was too simple for the therapist to judge Malachi's "worldview." But I admit that I am feeling a little defensive. I find it awkward that the authors seem to be using information they established to prove this fictional character is a “bad” person. I think the therapist is simply uneducated. There isn’t enough “evidence” to conclude he is without morals, is unjust, unfair-minded, or not well-intentioned. I agree that a major challenge for counselors may be to overcome unintentional racism and provide more equitable service delivery.
I don’t like that the therapist thought that Malachi’s being black, was a problem he ought to disregard - color as being too troublesome to deal with. I do think that the color of our skins is just a portion of us; it doesn’t nearly go far enough to explain who the person is. I also think the therapist lost an opportunity and failed to establish trust by his denial of Malachi’s identity. I think that Malachi insisted on intimacy when he drew close to the therapist who perceived a threat … It was as if Malachi was saying, “Can you feel me now?!” I think to be different is a good thing and that it is regressive to think of people as good or bad. People need to be seen and felt regardless of behavior, especially in a therapeutic situation.
I think that the therapist’s view of Malachi as being guarded, mistrustful, and lacking self-disclosure was a projection of the therapist onto the client. The inability for establishing rapport and relationship with any client is ineffective and destructive in therapy. It would have been the same with a black therapist with a white client. It was inappropriate for the therapist to expect automatic self-disclosure in the first meeting before establishing a working relationship. I agree self-disclosure is the most direct and appropriate means of intimate communication in a therapeutic relationship.
Reference
Sue, D. W., & Sue, D., (2003), Counseling the culturally diverse: Theory and practice [4th ed.]. NY: John Wiley & Sons/
Comments Masters Work:
V said... It`s great to see the new reincarnation of MW!!! Welcome home!! Hugs, V
Christina K Brown said... This was the briefest introduction I ever expected...but also very good. I am honored to get to read your work my friend.
V said... Ah, it`s so great to see you back in writing form! Ayn, you offer your fellow students a unique perspective. I look forward to future posts!Top Work!! Hugs, V
Bon & Mal Mott said... An intriguing commentary, Ayn. Certain aspects of the commentary regarding a patient's freedom are deeply felt. Also consider the feelings of a family member who is forced to hospitalize a sufferer of mental illness, while simultaneously struggling with feelings of self-loathing over having to remove the person's independence.Bon & Mal
Tamara said... Ayn, just so you know I've been here a few times. As soon as I catch my breath, I'll be back again. This is excellent writing Ayn and I also look forward to future posts. Your insight is spot on by the way. Love and hugs, T
Christina K Brown said... People who first learn I am a multiple tend to regard me as unstable first before considering my relative stability. And, I have run into people who maintain a “sick patient” image of me, which is also frustrating. This line can really be used for any person with any illness Ayn. I too have these same feelings with my own illness and tend to resent being put into a category by other people. I think that society in general likes to put people "in their place" and in many ways people who are challenged in some ways do not fit into those neat little boxes. Good stuff. I agree with Vince.
Comments Regular Work:
Gabreaelsaid... Thanks for all the hard work on DA. I look forward to working with you on it into the new year. Gabreael
Anonymous said…have a fun day no frowny faces allowed :) Deb
Bon & Mal Mottsaid… We are pleased that you enjoyed the snowflakes, Ayn. You may randomly receive one every now and then, when we are too lazy to do anything but play with snowflakes. Hehe. Love, Bon & Mal
Ann Mariesaid… LOLOL - you two are too funny! You have recalled old memories of how much I loved the snow growing up in Minnesota. When we were little, we had snow pants, boots, scarves, mittens, and hat. After school we had plenty of neighborhood kids, but my favorite memory was at dusk when all others had gone in. I would just lay out in the snow looking up at the sky or make snow pies that I would feast on. I thought for sure, I would never go hungry. Just love the snow! Thanks for this memory!!! Our love, Us
Ann Mariesaid... Deb, ok, ok ... no frowny faces today ... that be less than a good "brownie!" And, Gabreael, we are looking forward too, as well as watching how your new fitness place works out! Our best love, Us
TJsaid... Oh, and A happy New Year to you...I am excited about this year. I am really going to make it one of my best. I do not normally get so excited...I think it follows in steps with having new goals. Love TJ
Christina K Brownsaid… howdy sweetie.... glad you had a good day yesterday and hope school is good today!!!
V said… Workin` Out!! WooHOO!V
Tamarasaid... Hey, hey...it is school time again! Woo-hoo! Keep the smiley faces beaming! Hugs and love, T
TJsaid... U R Missing? I keep looking for U.
Bedazzzled1said... Who is Harry, and why is he frowning? Slap that boy and make him smile! : grin:
Gabreaelsaid... OK, Ayn. It is a New Year. Let us get "Jiggy" with it. :PGabreael
Tamarasaid... Ayn's missing! Help, help, we must go find her. AYN, AYN, COME OUT COME OUT FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE! Hey sweetie, where are you? I have read this same post for days now. It is time for a new one my dear.Type, type, type… Love and hugs, T
Tammy Brierlysaid... You go girl! No frowns today just happy snowflake dreams.
Tamarasaid... Hummm, V has not posted, Ayn has not posted. Should I be worried? T
Ann Mariesaid... Oh no T. We've both posted maybe you need to refresh your screen! Hehehehe. We will write an email this morning! XoxoxoUs