The Problem of Divine Cacophony

Picture it:

Christmas time. Pious people praying. Cheerful carolers caroling.

Jesus hears all the prayers and carols, all at once.

It's bad enough to hear two songs clashing, imagine thousands or millions, and being unable to stop hearing it (or you lose your omniscience) and not being able to get away from it and simply die (you are eternal and presumably immortal).

Multiply this by every day of the year with people singing Happy Birthday which is already generally out of tune and cacophonous anyway!

To the response that God ignores any of this brings up the issue of even a sparrow falling to the ground without God knowing (Lk. 12:6-7, Mat. 10:29-30 one sparrow “shall not fall on the ground without your Father [noticing]. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”) And what about spiders and beetles clicking their little legs by the billions.

(I wrote this in June 2025 as well:)

“Happy Birthday” Argument against the omniscience of God

Imagine hearing 100s of simultaneous birthday party songs being sung out of key simultaneously, nonstop, all day, every day, year round, and not being able to avoid listening to it. (In fact, you lose your omniscience the second you stop listening.) So whatever God’s experience is like, it includes a constant awareness that thousands of people are about to eat cake. If God’s omnipotence also includes a clause requiring the ability to focus solely on just one task, without distraction (an ability many humans have), then this aspect of his omniscience would break this aspect of his omnipotence. In other words, I can do something God cannot do, which is stop hearing Happy Birthday being sung out of key nonstop. My experience of focus is more keen than God’s, unless you grant limitations to his omniscience, allowing him to ignore things going on in the world, to gain a power that I already have. I’m sure disproof atheism has concocted dozens of these sorts of little koans.

Other examples are: I can say “I don’t know,” and mean it, and God cannot, unless I have a power he cannot have. I can make a mistake and feel guilty, and he cannot experience that, without breaking one of his omniperfections.