Listening

3. LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO UNDERSTAND

French psychiatrist, Paul Tournier taught that true communication is "the meeting of meanings." That is, grasping the definition behind the words. That takes disciplined listening! Steven Covey says, "many people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply." If we are to connect with people communications-wise, we must assume the attitude, "I am more interested in what you are saying than in thinking of what I'm going to say, once you're through talking."

David Swartz reminds us that "big people monopolize the listening. Small people monopolize the talking." And James asserts, "everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (<a class="xrefhighlight" href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Jas+1%3A19">1:19</a>) (See <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Pr+13%3A3">Proverbs 13:3</a>; <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Pr+15%3A2">15:2</a>; <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Pr+18%3A13">18:13</a>; <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Pr+21%3A23">21:23</a>; <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Jas+1%3A26">James 1:26</a>; <a href="http://www.crossbooks.com/verse.asp?ref=Jas+3%3A1">3:1</a>)

Dewey Knight relates, "My best advice came from a friend immediately after I was named to a top… job: 'Son, in this job you will have millions of opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.'"

QUESTION: Are you willing to demonstrate your respect for others by sublimating your ego needs and truly listening to them? If not, forget any notion that you are in fact a mentor or discipler.